We love empirenews.com.
We believe that website and its attendant social networking pages are the most appropriate litmus strip for society in general as it begins accelerating toward complete and inexplicable moronity.
Well, what with fluoride, toxic food and nearly everybody on the planet under some kind of mind-altering pharmaceutical, “inexplicable” isn’t exactly accurate. There’s a LOT to explain it.
Anyway, the whole point is that people don’t get homonyms. They’re so used to misspellings on their social networking sites and in missives on cell phones with disabled autocorrect that they quickly read something and assume the worst…without making an effort to understand.
And satire? Way, way, WAY beyond most of the room-temperature-IQ bunch. Satire doesn’t require razor sharpness…just a little bit of sharp. Which is sorely lacking these days.
Hence the point of this post.
At empirenews.com yesterday, this article was posted:
Actress Betty White, 92, Dyes Peacefully In Her Los Angeles Home
LOS ANGELES, California - In a press release from her long-time manager Jeff Witjas, it has been confirmed today that actress Betty White, best known for her roles on TVs The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Golden Girls, and Hot in Cleveland, is not a natural blonde.
“Betty is a solitary kind of person,” said Witjas. “She likes to relax in her home with her animals, and she rarely likes to discuss the fact, at least in public, that she is actually a brunette. She has been dying her own hair in her home for decades. Betty has often told me she feels it is relaxing and soothing to dye her own hair, peacefully in her home, where she can laugh and enjoy time with her animals. She’s said on more than one occasion that as a blonde, she has had ‘more fun’ in her roles, and in life.”
Priceless, yes? For those of us who get satire, it sure is.
For those who don’t…it meant the nonagenarian (which word the room-temp-IQs ALSO won’t understand) was dead. And the hue and cry that’s gone up on social networking sites has been filled with bitching and carrying on the likes of which happened back in July when people believed parts of 17 bodies were found in the Ohio near Henderson, Kentucky.
Oh la.
If you’re still reading this and haven’t taken offense, congratulations. You’re part of that becoming-limited group who paid attention in school to your spelling, grammar, the English language in general, and actually applied it in your life. You also paid attention in literature classes and understood there are several styles of writing, satire being among them.
If you got pissed and left earlier…well. This paragraph will hold no meaning for you. But…hopefully your eyes were opened somewhere along the way.
We just wish they’d open wide enough for you to realize what you, an unfortunate majority, appear to be to the rest of us, the dwindling minority who understand what’s going on in this country.
Sigh.