RICHLAND CO.—You never can tell what weirdness is going to emerge in Richland County elections, especially where there’s a contested race (because that doesn’t happen very often).
BJODeux., tardamundo
We can barely get people to RUN in Richland….there’s a significant apathy issue there, resulting in pathetic voter turnouts like the one we had yesterday, with a whopping 17.95 percent (I’m sure they’re proud of the point-nine-five!)
Unfortunately, the people who DO run are the caliber of the town tard, Brian James O’Neill. Junior. The second. Whatever.
O’Neill was standing on the street corner at Taco Bell last night in Olney instead of haunting the courthouse during the final hours of voting, which is what he usually does. He was not dressed in a wedding gown, but appeared somewhat normal (appearances, as they say, can be deceiving). However, he did have his mangy, obese, nasty dog with him. At one point, it was doing its business on city right-of-way. People driving by were yelling at him, telling him it was illegal to sell it on the street corner. He just gazed vapidly, apparently under the medication that causes him to be as obnoxious as possible and continue to believe that there’s a snowball’s chance in hell that he can win an election.
One of O'Neill's many fancy 'dance moves'
And of course, yesterday, he did not win. Thank God; this is a relief for the county, which is already under oppressive enough financial constraints.
O’Neill has been running against Mary Spillman in Richland’s District 5 for the past several elections now, and in the first (2006), when he lost, he filed a lawsuit against the county, the state, the county’s election judges, the county clerk, etc., for “violating his rights.” This is O’Neill’s drumbeat: EVERYONE violates his rights. Because he’s disabled. We don’t know what his disability IS. Many will go right out onto that limb and say it’s because he’s retarded. He himself has admitted so, to yours truly. However, it’s more than that…the man is too shrewd in his offensiveness to the public at large to be functioning at that level. It’s like his handicap really is that he’s evil. And most evil of that nature—obnoxious, annoying, filthy-minded evil, as perpetrated by someone with the mentality of a 10-year-old—is done away with early. You know, like juvie. And when he gets too old for juvie, then an institution for people who simply can’t socialize. And that’s O’Neill to a T. He CAN’T socialize. He is Richland County’s oddity, their stinky albatross hanging around Olney’s neck. Olneans thank God for the bizarrity of the white squirrels. Those little albino freak rodents make O’Neill seem….well…not-s0-weird, by comparison. But still plenty weird.
Anyway, O’Neill (aka O’Nellie, One Ill, BlowJo, Oatmeal, and a host of other amusing bastardizations of his name) lost yesterday, as he usually does, taking 11 whole votes in his district, to Spillman’s 69 votes. Yep, that’s right, 80 whole people bothered to vote for a county board rep in District 5. Woot.) This was, if we’re recalling correctly, exactly the same tally he got the last time he ran for office. We’re seriously wondering who the 11 are. We’re thinking about putting a referendum on the November ballot that will not only keep O’Neill from ever running for office in the county again (he’s run for mayor, and city council, too), but for preventing that 11 from EVER being able to cast a ballot again….with voters like that out there, it’s just too dangerous.
In the meantime, O’Neill keeps coming to county board and city council meetings, whining about smokers not standing a full 15 feet away from places like the Fireside and Gypsy bars…while in the meantime, he stands on the streetcorners and dances in sweat pants sans underwear (use your imagination as to what he’s shaking) and talking to himself (or perhaps the invisible people who inhabit his world and make him think he can actually win a public office). One of these days, SOMEBODY’S going to stop him….but with Pat Quinn threatening to cut even more services for mental health patients, we’re not expecting it to be anything productive, or good, any time soon.