Kids say the darnedest things, don’t they? It’s an old saying, but if it isn’t true, nothing is. The things that kids will say absolutely floor me every time I’m near a kid, since I don’t have kids of my own yet. Probably I am just not used to that level of brutal honesty, which is funny considering my job here at Disclosure.
But, isn’t that the joy of kids? The are like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get. Sometimes that is a great thing, others, maybe not so much.
Kick that cold!
Among things that I have had kids say to me, there are several that stick out in my memory. One of the funnier ones that I have heard came from a child in my family, and was a theory on how to fight illness. Our whole family had gathered, and as the evening fell a rainstorm blew in as well. It was in the early fall, so the storm had brought in a bit of cold. The kids who were around 6 at that time went outside to play in the rain, jump in puddles, and generally be kids.
Before the kids had gone out, their dads, who were all brothers, had been playing around. One of them had joking told the eldest brother “I’m gonna kick you in the head!” With that, the kids walked out the door, and this weird and pointless statement seemed forgotten.
But, when the boys came inside soaked to the bone and shivering, their mothers chastised them. “What are you gonna do if you catch a cold and cant play anymore?” the mothers asked. And in all of their childish sincerity, they simply stated “We won’t, we’ll kick it in the head!”
How does a kid imagine a cold? Is it a giant, monstrous super villain? Some other tangible being that can simply be kicked in the head, and thus avoided? In my mind’s eye, as I was cracking up over this statement, I saw my tiny little blond buddy running full tilt at this giant, slimy “bad guy” and taking a flying, Bruce Lee-like kick at his head. The best part was that this little soaking wet, naked, and shivering child had said this with the deepest look of seriousness in his eyes. You could tell that in his heart of hearts, that kid believed that he would be kicking the flu-bug in the head if it came near him.
When that happened, I was still relatively new to having kids around me. As an only-child, I had never had kids around me, with the exception of my friend’s siblings, and I never paid them much mind. So, little things like that would easily catch me off guard. But, I have found that time hasn’t really desensitized me to this.
Miss Ev
One of my favorite moments of children speaking in childish honesty involved babysitting little Miss Ev, Jade’s daughter. It was during the fall, and we decided to go outside and play in the leaves. Ev is clearly Jade’s daughter, and Jack and Angela’s Granddaughter, in the way that she is VERY vocal about what she is thinking. As we played in the front yard, a couple of Juggalos walked by on the sidewalk. Ev looked up, and upon seeing their appearance, loudly declared “Hey, look! They’re weir-doos!” These men did look like “weir-doos,” but I quickly cuddled her up and said, “That isn’t nice!” I looked up, and the men were looking at is in complete bemusement, because I looked like as much of a “weir-doo” as they did. My earlobes have a half-inch wide hole in them, I had visible tattoos hanging out, and neon colors in my hair. I am fairly sure that this was the only time in my life that I was on the same page as a Juggalo, because our eyes met and we all laughed, understanding that this little girl had very clearly defined lines of who was a “weir-doo,” and who wasn’t. It was just staggering to all of us that they were weird to her, while I was not.
Frankly, I think the only difference was that I had spent the better part of the morning watching a movie with her, so she had forgotten how weird I looked.
Don’t hold back, kid
So, between these two incidences, I had begun to learn how serious kids were when they spoke. One had been hilarious, which the other had been slightly frightening. Still, I wasn’t fully aware of how honest kids could be.
The last moment in time that made me come into full awareness of the honesty of children was while snuggling with my nephew and watching Scooby-doo. We were relaxing on the couch, and he was sitting on top of me squirrelling around in his restless way. He laid back, so that he was basically laying with the back of his head resting on my face, and then turned his head to look at me. I smiled at him and planted a kiss on his forehead, but he took on a serious concentrated face. His forehead pulled together with the depth of his thought, and I immediately became leery of what was going to come out of his mouth. “Why are your teeth not white, and kinda spotty?”
Well, knock me over with a feather.
Try explaining to a kid that sometimes, even if you try to make your teeth perfect, they wont be. Try to tell a kid that brushing doesn’t keep the dentist away, while not implying that they can just quit brushing and be fine. Such a simple little question was nearly impossible to explain without adding some subtext that would bite me in the rear later.
Perspective
I think that people forget how very VALUABLE the perspective of a child can be. How often have you dismissed something that a kid has said, or ignored a child who is talking to you? I think we are all guilty of that, but maybe we should all take a little while to really pay attention to those little words more often.
As a child, my parents would listen to something I would say, and would often shake their heads and say “You’re brutally honest, kid!” But, my parents never made me feel bad for being honest to a fault, and always made it seem like an endearment when they talked to me or to other people about things that I said. As a result, I grew up being confident in what I had to say, and kept my childlike filter through which I would view the world around me. I think that most people grow up, and as they grow they become more concerned about fitting in with the views of people around them. As a result of this, people begin to see things and think about this differently, and this is how we grow out of our childish honesty.
So, what would happen if we all backtracked, and if we started looking at the world without the notions that we have built in our minds? What if we all tried to view the world for exactly what it is, rather than adding thoughts and beliefs that we have grown to hold?
How it should be
Let’s take a pizza as a very basic example of what I am talking about. As an adult, most of us would hear the word “pizza,” and would mentally see a dough base, marinara sauce, cheese, meats and vegetables. But, a child might think of a pizza and imagine fruit on it, or something even more usual. Why is this? It’s because children have not built preconceived notions in their mind, which leaves them free to see things exactly how they are, not how they think that SHOULD be.
So, if we could all shake preconceived notions from time to time, we might all view the world in a much more honest light. Also, if we all stopped worrying about saying something that is “wrong”, or about asking something that “might be taken the wrong way,” I believe the world would change.
People are afraid to speak up, fearing that they will receive some form of recourse, but silence is more likely to damage our world. If we all asked brutally honest questions and stated the cold hard facts, just as children do, politician’s corrupt agendas would not be as easily hidden. If we weren’t afraid of people thinking badly of us for what we have to say, there may be fewer deaths in the world that could have been stopped if someone had simply spoke up.
This is my call for this month: For a whole week, practice speaking the WHOLE, brutal truth. Stop worrying about how people will perceive you. Stop feeling guilty for being to honest. Our society has taught us that saying the “right things” will help you get ahead in life. But, at what cost? In my life, I have always found brutal honesty to be more beneficial, more fruitful, and in general to result in a much more peaceful life. If we aren’t being wholly honest, isn’t that the very same thing as lying by omission
Go ahead; be as honest as a child.