FRANKLIN CO., Ill.—What happens when a dumb, bleached-blonde 20-something dingdong goes shopping in West Frankfort and allegedly helps herself to a five-finger discount?
It gets put on Facebook, of course.
Here’s the long and short of this:
A 27-year-old West Frankfort dimbulb, Danielle N. Saxton, bulbously pregnant and probably not married, went shopping July 11 at a nice little store in West Frankfort called Mortie’s Boutique. There, it’s alleged she walked out of the store with various merchandise items, including a very loud neon leopard print skimpy dress that someone in her condition has no business wearing…but you can’t tell pregnant girls these days to dress (or behave) with anything resembling decency.
Then, it’s alleged that she went home, put on the dress, and began snapping bathroom selfies with a friend:
She just looks stunning, doesn’t she?
She posted these on Facebook. And at some point in time later, someone in the public apparently noticed this as being the dress the store was missing, and notified authorities, which resulted in this charge of Retail Theft under $300 being filed against her in Franklin County Circuit Court.
Ang was notified of this whole thing last night by one of our good friends, Bruce Cline, who sent us a link, so I had Ang screencap the most delicious part of all of this…the comments. They are as follows:
And while Ang was screencapping those, I got THIS, right off Danielle Saxton’s own Facebook page…
She’s lucky we don’t have time to run everyone on her friends list through judici, thanks to us being on deadline. But we might get around to it.
Saxton is set for a bond hearing in the case August 19, 2014. And that’s about all we know.
Except for this: They’re definitely breeding, and they’re probably voting. As I’m so fond of saying…We. Are. DOOMED.