WAYNE CO., Ill.—It never ceases to amaze us the terminology the “experts” will come up with to avoid having to pay out on an insurance claim.
And it always seems to happen in the black hole of media (where news comes in but it doesn’t get out), Wayne County.
It’s like not only is Wayne the black hole of media, but it’s also a gigantic tornado magnet. We had the one in 2002 that tore apart our old house right in the middle of town; and then there’ve been others before and since that just skip other places like Mt. Vernon or points west and go twisting right down the middle of Fairfield’s main drags.
And the one that happened last night isn’t even being CALLED a “tornado.” It’s being called a “land spout.” You know, like “waterspout,” only not over water. Over land.
Who the hell comes UP with this shit? Probably people who are in the pockets of the insurance adjusters and underwriters, not wanting to pay out on “tornado” because that’s spelled out in “Acts of God.” Instead, they’ll do the one they came up with several years ago, “straight-line winds” (even in the face of evidence of a vortex); or my personal favorite, “microburst.” Really? What’s a MICROBURST consist of? Can’t it have a tornado in it?? Not according to the payout guys. It has to be vague. New. Not on the books. So there won’t be a replacement of your dubblewahd in Wayne County…which is for the most part made of kleenex and spit, anyway.
Nevertheless, here we are: From Weatherunderground, the “land spout” reference:
That “no other damage reported” isn’t exactly true. When Ang went to her hair appointment this morning, she learned that there was a friend of her hairdresser’s who had a hole punched in the side of her mobile home by a large tree branch blown through it by the “land spout.”
And the hair gal herself happened to be in Walmart when the “land spout” came over the horizon. She reports that Walmart went into emergency mode, and advised all shoppers to move back to the cooler area for their safety as the tornado (er, land spout) approached. About 80 people, she said, were crammed in that cooler area…with little kids crying, and some old guy telling the little ones to gather round, if they were gonna go, maybe the winds would take him first. You know…Wayne County. Land of the heroes.
Anyway, here are some pics we’ve snagged from around Facebook, and to whom they’re attributed, so you can see what everybody else saw. And our own Jade said that she might’ve gotten something on vid up in Calhoun; we’ll see if she’s able to render it and make it available.
By Terry Richardson, republished here under Fair Use Act
By Terry Richardson, republished here under Fair Use Act
By Terry Richardson, republished here under Fair Use Act
By Devan Orrill, republished here under Fair Use Act
By Shauna Mark, republished here under Fair Use Act
Newsflash, insurance guys….just because a descended-to-the-ground vortex appears CLEAR, that doesn’t mean it’s a “land spout.” Waterspouts appear clear because their “DEBRIS” is WATER. This is merely a debris-free (well, in some instances, as you can see) VORTEX, aka tornado. Stop re-naming shit. With that, and Obamacare, we’re beginning to feel like insurance people are running the country.